I have 2 sons and I am not sure how many times I have heard, "You don't understand, girls are so different!" when speaking with other parents. So, should I be feeling that my parenting is any less difficult than of those parents who have girls? Well, here is what I do know- for every parent who has experienced an easier time raising their sons, there are those parents who share a similar experience with their daughters.
Are there differences? Absolutely
Are there similarities? Absolutely
Do they both experience pressures, challenges, fears, self-esteem issues, etc? Absolutely
Do they respond differently? Absolutely
Ok, so with that out of the way…..being a mother of boys, a book caught my attention the other day called, Masterminds and Wingmen written by Rosalind Wiseman. In it she helps us understand the social structures that boys live by within their relationships. It sheds light on understanding your son and creating that support he needs to get through life. Of course, as with anything in life, this is merely one of many resources out there for boys.
According to Wiseman, most boys have a three-to five-guy inner circle. Within these groups there are particular "roles" that each boy plays: Mastermind, Associate, Bouncer, Entertainer, Fly, Conscience, Punching Bag, and Champion. Understanding what each role signifies, what is gained and lost in each role, and what the parents should know about each role are all valuable reasons why I would recommend that you read it when you get a chance. Once you have read the book, I would be interested to hear what role your son might be in his inner circle.
For me, I believe my two sons could probably identify most with Champion, Entertainer, and the Conscience roles.
And to all the moms that have daughters in your home, you can check out Queen Bees and Wannabees.